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Following some, I will say, tumultuous circumstances happening in my life right now, I have been looking for things that feel safe and comforting to me. One of my favourite songwriters, and previous musician obsessions before Narasaki of COTD* is Sam Cromack of Ball Park Music, featured here in his solo project My Own Pet Radio.

I think this is one of my favourite band names.

I was first introduced to his work sometime around 2014 by my older sister (who I think had also developed some kind of obsession), and it has been a precious staple in my music listenings for many many years.

Part of the reason I think his songwriting is so good, particularly in the songs made around the same time as Goodlum up until about 2020, is because he makes an intentional effort to obscure and make more abstract word choices to convey a feeling or message - and then might contrast it with the most direct, obvious and straightforward lyric line - like “duh! THATS what it was supposed to mean”. I think the most obvious example of this I can point to is in the Ball Park Music song Leef, where he himself literally describes this intentionality in writing the whole thing in cryptic metaphors, until the end of the song where it slaps you in the face with “I’ll love you forever”. So freaking cute.

I think in the instances where he doesn’t explicitly tell you the point of it all, it’s fun having it be vague enough to derive your own conclusions from. I think the most recent stuff for Ball Park Music has lost a bit of that subtlety, with stuff like freaking,, MANNY, and could be why I have floated away from the band over the years. Oh well.

Anyway. These tracks are bangers and/or club hits:

* Pink Freud *
*** No Great Mystery ***
** Never-Ending Wave **

The song I specifically wanted to mention, though, is You're Right, There's Nothing.

I had originally written a bunch of analysis for the song, but it got to be quite personal and I think I'm more comfortable leaving it in my journal. So much for this experiment!

The basic gist is, while I feel a bit silly combing over song lyics for something I enjoyed deeply over a decade ago, I don't feel like I truly connected with them then as I do now. I have experienced what is written within, and I feel that I have quite literally now done this to someone too. I have spent those sleepless nights deliberating - even over the span of two years - wondering if it was at all possible to avoid this bitter end I had feared was coming and ignored, either through willful ignorance, or some vain hope that it would never arrive. We'd even discussed this between ourselves at length. Many times. And still I chose to proceed and prolong the pain I would eventually cause you.
Was there any point to it all?
You were right, **I** was right, there's nothing. And I know that now. And I am truly sorry.

Honourable shoutout to Enemy/Memory and Don’t Press Send, Companion because the chorus after the intro sounds really pretty but the lyrics kind of read to me as cheating?? You have to remind yourself of “the lady with the baby” to “remain as friends” with this person ? … u are with child and tempted ?. Blasphemy, Mr Cromack . Hell shall not judge u kindly and for all my sins I'll see u there.